Are you always trying to cut your own hair first and then going to a hairdresser? I suspect the hairdresser is just trying to smooth things out. Unless someone has a lot of training, I would think it would be hard to cut one's own hair.
I sometimes end up with a haircut I personally think is too short. And I feel like it makes my rather prominent nose look even bigger.
I am sorry your insensitive relatives pick on you. Shame on them.
My suggestion: Just let your hair grow out some. Don't try to cut it yourself. Then go to a hairdresser. They have picture books you can look at to see what styles you might want to try--or bring a picture in from a magazine.
At least hair grows out, so you aren't stuck with really short hair forever! Okay? Just bide your time!

And as someone said, hair is a superficial thing. It is what is inside that makes you who you are.