HAHAHAHAHA! Oh thanks for the levity! I really need that!

And there is the problem. I have no training, I havent been coached in how to be patient. I know I needed a lot of time to get to this point so why cant I be more forgiving? The truth is, I can. I just really really worry about the stuck ones and it really really hard watching it become worse for them. I want to do what I can to help them but I feel persecuted for being too cheerful, too helpful, too hopeful, too suggestive, and now, that Im lying . I guess its a personal thing and I need to find some way to change it. I cant care less or turn off my sadness, its impossible for me.

Thank you Whos, youre really smart