Hi eon

I know what you mean about feeling self centered . In life there is time for you too .

I know the feelings of being lonely really suck! We all want to feel loved and noticed I think. Sometimes I dont want to be noticed but thats a different story.

I know its hard doing anything at all when you feel bad or are scared. You dont want to re-experience whats happened in the past and I can feel how much it hurt for you. Now you are trying to live with it.

It would be beautiful to just walk outside with head held high and smiling, embracing all the love and sunshine thats out there. It was cruel they mocked you.

Try not to let that be all you think about but I know its hard. Can you imagine feeling good about Valentines Day at anytime in your life? I think if you can create a loving picture of the day in your inner vision it could help steer you in that direction but the steps at first will be shaky and uncertain. Dont imagine perfection. There will always be something sad to think of if you allow that. Just try to think kind healing thoughts for yourself and imagine that some, not all, around you are feeling the same. That might help you to fell some connection and that not all things are completely bad. Then, maybe if you wanted to, you could give someone else what you need most. Its weird how becoming the thing we want most and find missing in our lives actually attracts more of the same and whoa! that thing is suddenly magically present in our lives! We manifest it. Imagine giving someone else the valentine you yourself would like to receive. Imagine how it might change their day and maybe you make a connection. Maybe you dont. Either way you are starting to break down walls and its just what we need to do to move thru the yucks.

Maybe this wasnt helpful at all and you need to do something different. Whatever you do know I care and hope you move past this to a healthier, happier you.