(((hugs))) I think that is a good idea, and hope you follow through with your T. I also hope that she will step up her contact with you during these tough days, so you don't have to go in, but at al costs, stay safe.

I'm proud of you that you didn't do anything about your thoughts today. That shows that you really are strong at times, and that you really don't want to die, you want things to change and be better! I hope you can give your T the opportunity to help you change things so you can live life well.