I think what bothers me the most about it is the fading feeling, that actually got amplified last time I tripped on mushrooms which I realize I probably shouldn't have been doing considering I was basically feeling like I am now when I did that I guess it really kind of threw that particular issue in my face.

If I ever wanted to be anyone great or special I think that stopped quite long ago, I mean it wouldn't happen anyways I'm 23 and hopefully getting on SSI but that's not a very good way to become anything 'great' by societies standards.