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Your comment about becoming someone special alarmed me.
Itīs actually a sign of PTSD wanting to be someone "special" or feeling "special", different from everyone else or like a no-one so you feel the NEED to be someone really special in this world.
Itīs mentioned in "trauma and recovery".
It also says that when you start to recover this feeling will fade and you will feel more normal like everyone else, need for "specialness" will decrease and you will find more pleasure in "normal" activities.
You are already special as yourself. And anything you can be very special to you.
When you regain some sense of yourself you will regain a feeling of being special for yourself, not in the world and to the world, but to yourself, because youīre you.
donīt worry.
though i completely understand what you mean by not really feeling like you know who you are.
becoming someone "great" or "special" in the world will NOT give it back to you though, believe me.
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