Quote:
Originally Posted by beadlady29
so liek beads used to have a serious problem sith sh....................then a old T
helped us to stop...................................well that was a couple of years ago adn this is now.............we have not had no T far liek 2 and a half months and last week we sh again................and now its all we think about.............
we do have an appt. with a new T schecueld far next week, but dunno how in teh world we is gonna keep from doing this agin until the appt.,,,,,,it is only 4 days away tbut that sounds liek a lifetiem away.....................
tryign to taek it one day at a tiem,,,sometime one minute at a tiem,,,staying online ALOT otherwise workign onn beadwork in hopes of distrafting ourself but the thoughts are always nkindsa just rite behind the front of our mind.......bout ready to pull what is left of my hair outta my head it driveing me nuts.......how can we keep from gettign back into this harmfull pattern.................again................????
mary
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Mary,
forgive me if I don't catch onto the short forms of computer language, the kind you use in texting etc. Guess I never learned.
Right now, it sounds like your job is protecting Beads. I know that both of you are thinking about self harming, but can you put yourself into a mindset that will allow you to hang on through protecting Beads?
Yes, thoughts of self harm can be very difficult to gain control over once they start. They are a little like a snowball rolling downhill. Sometimes you don't even realize you are thinking about it, then realize its been on your mind all day.
Do you have a friend that you trust and can tell what is going on to? when I think of self harming, I give any sharp objects that I have been thinking about to her. Usually there is one or two objects that you routinely use to self harm with, and if you can get them out of the house to a place where you cannot reach them, it may give you some time.
What happened to both of you in the past was horrible. However, none of those things were either of your faults. Those things were done to you. You did not ask for them and neither did Beads. Don't punish yourselves for something that someone else did. If you had a friend who was beaten or raped, do you think your friend would deserve to be punished? My guess is that you would never tell someone who had been victimized that it was thier fault and they should be punished. That is what you are doing to yourselves though.
Can Beads tell us a little about how she feels?
Sam2