This is very very frustrating, this whole depression/bipolar thing.

Righto, initially, I was diagnosed as being bi polar over two years ago, then being rediagnosed as being severely depressed/personality disorder/anhedonia. I have tried a few different AD's to no avail, I am also on sleeping tablets every night. If I dont take sleeping tablets I am like a crazed hamster on a wheel, the problem is, i have pretty much become a recluse so i dont go out. i pity my downstairs neighbours coz i try not to take sleeping tablets a couple of nights a month (dont know what i hope to achieve, but anyway). I'll get my animals out and play with them. I have six snakes and three bearded dragons, a cat and some fish. The snakes have general run of the place but I often have to move the furniture about to retrieve them and put them to snakey bed............

Anyway, I am losing track of what I was trying to say.

Without sleeping tablets i dont sleep very much at all, maybe 3 or 4 hours and i am up and about. I have been getting extremely irritable and so angry that i honestly feel like i could harm some one if they come across when i am like this. I have gone thru i dont know how many broken,inanimate objects (which is good in some respects i suppose).

Not only that i spend money on stupid stupid things that i never use. like a lateral thigh stepper, an abs crunch thing, a tai chi dvd on my last spending spree, oh and make up, when i dont wear it!!

The thing is though, i have been to the pdoc loads of times and everytime i come out of there i have a different diagnosis to add to my long list.

I spoke to my cpn and said that i dont like my doctor and i want to change but i cant because there isnt anyone else to see me!! God Bless the NHS!!

Do i go into the doc with both barrels blazing and ask him if he knows wtf is wrong with me, if not can he refer me elsewhere?? What will happen, long term, with taking meds that dont actually help?? And can some one please help me find the end button because I am beginning to ramble??

I would appreciate any input/advice. tks n regards n kisses