Update: Sept. 2012-Feb. 2013, still in slow divorce process, difficult emotionally, financially, etc. for me. I understand I'm not unique and there will be an end to this process. I'm assured by doctors, lawyer, friends, relatives (few), that I'll be OK, but everyday I wonder. I just wonder how all of this will turn out.

Funny, sometimes I believe I will be OK sometimes, then I begin thinking the others are giving me "false" assurance, that is not consciously meaning to mislead me, rather, trying to be supportive and positive.

It comes down to this---IF it DOESN'T turn out OK for me, I'm screwed. 20 years of my life, at least the last 5 years living with my toxic husband and our toxic-co-dependant life. I suppose the looking half-full at this is at least to think, "Well, at do know he won't be here and that alone will make it OK". I do think that way...However, I worry about my financial security----I am 58 years old!