Like I said in my original post. Blame abounds and never comes to rest in any one place, it just hovers like a dark cloud making everything dark.

I'm sorry this even touched on her. I suppose I need to say that even now, I could get along with her, be kind and polite. I've never said anything to her directly. It's her insecurities and her own way of dealing with things that started all this. It just goes totally against my grain.

My daughter told Jerry that there are worse things than growing up in a dirty house and we all know that to be true. The kids could be taken away and placed in an abusive foster home.

In short, I wanted better for my son, but he made his choice and has made up his mind to stick by it. I can respect that. The only thing that hurts me is how he has been made to believe that I'm a different person than I am. He can't see the forest for the trees. He should know me better than to believe I twist everything. He grew up with me, after all!

As difficult as it is, I'm going to reject most of the blame that's been thrown in my direction. My worst mistake was to voice my opinion to my son. I did it before he was ever seriously involved with her. She lived with me, you see.

So now... I pay the price and lose my son and grandchildren.