(((prettyjolie)))
I'm so sorry you are so upset and confused right now. And no word of a lie, as i was reading what you wrote, i thought i was reading my own thoughts. It sucks, it really does, feeling this way, not knowing why .. and not having any where to turn to - not even yourself. Sometimes we can cry .. and sometimes even that seems like too much effort .. but i promise if you can just push through these harder times .. it will get easier. Do things that you enjoy doing - whether it be listen to music, or art, or whatever it is that you can express yourself. I find that keeping a journal helps alot. I know with me at least it is sometimes hard to find where the source of all these feelings come from, and if i can write it down and see it right in front of me it helps so sort through these things a bit.
Do you have anyone that you feel comfortable talking to? A friend, or a relative... ? If not, are there counsellors at your school that you could talk to? I know it can be intimidating and scary if you haven't done it before ... but it really can help. and you dont have to worry about your parents finding out because if you do it through the school they can't tell your parents. Its just a thought .. might help you figure out more so why you are feeling the way you are, and if not, well its always good to talk things out too.
And you know that you can pm me anytime you want. If there is anything that i could do to help i would be more than willing to.
Take care of you
Smile
Jacqueline