Hi there AndersHolmvik, I think right now you need to take a deep breath, and try to focus on taking care of yourself. I understand how overwhelming all these feelings and pressures on our lives can be at times.

I wanted to make sure you know about these online resources:
http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm, and please do not rule out calling 911. It may seem too much of a hardship right now, but it is worth it to get help, whatever that takes. Money troubles might seem like the end of the world, but they can get better

Feel free to PM me if you need - I will be offline soon but I will respond as soon as I get any PM.