The week went OK. Just the paranoia bothered me a lot. We had a snow storm and I didn't go to work on Friday because of it. I was charged time off even though they were only open until noon. But I didn't want to get stuck in the city and unfortunately that means I don't get pad for a little more than an hour (I didn't have a full day in my time off pool).

The paranoia about others in the office being better than me or getting ahead rather than me is too hard to cope with. I've brought this up with my providers and I take meds to help and know some techniques to fight it, but it's so hard and emotionally draining.

It's another week and i'm trying to just accept the fact that I didn't come into work on Friday and have to make up time over the next 5 weeks so I have time if I get sick. I have to be stronger and not take time off at all. I haven't had a vacation in a few years because of these flair ups