I don't think there's a doctor that can really help unless you're able to find a therapist that you can really, really relate to one-on-one and that's a personal thing and you wouldn't probably know it on a first visit. It would take a number of visits to see if you'd really relate.

I'd really get involved in some of the DBT and mediation stuff. It does give you coping techniques to help you get the anger under control. They have workbooks and such you can use as well in an effort to see what you are doing and be able to change it. At least for me, due to the mercurial nature of our emotions, it's difficult to stick with. When I feel bad I work on it and it does offer a tad but of relief; when I feel good I convince myself I don't need it. If I was able to stick with it regularly I believe it could be of great benefit.

Also...I completely agree with you about the meds, however, it wouldn't hurt to get some type of short-term med that only lasts a few hours (Xanax and such) to take only on an as needed basis when things are really rough. It wouldn't affect your personality in general at all but you would have a back-up when needed.