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Originally Posted by snowflake245
hi i don't know if this is a stupid question or if i am over-analyzing the therapist-client relationship i am developing but here is the situation:
my therapist makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable bc she is ALWAYS so affectionate; big hugs, a little slide down my shoulders and back, and she always sits very close to me
also last week when the session ended, she said "so sweetie, do you remember what day our session is on next week and what time it is?"
she flips thru her calendar...and i say "no i dont remember..."
then she says "oh i found it, oh its on vAlentines day sweetie ! maybe you could be my valentine!" there was like a 2 second pause between us and then she laughed, tring to brush it off, then she hugged me again when i left. maybe i am misreading the social cues and /or body language she is giving me. ANY and ALL feedback would be helpful ..and i'm not even sure if i posted this in the right place! and anyway, sorry if its a stupid question!
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therapists come in all shapes and sizes so to speak..for some therapist-client relationships this is normal and for others this isnt...I once has a therapist who sat right next to me, held my hand and called me ...honey...sweetie...lovey... and other forms of endearments, gave hugs of all kinds, and made some totally strange jokes (at least I thought they were strange)
it wasnt anything illegal or unethical but it did make me uncomfortable so I talked to her about it.. it turned out that a majority of those she had worked with in the past were children so she was used to getting down to a childs level of things..
I explained to her I was an adult and would like to be treated like an adult not a child who needs to be talked to in a sweet voice with constant endearments and such.
she backed off a bit but sometimes she just couldnt help but to call me sweetie, lovey, honey,....I eventually located another therapist. at that time my self esteem and self worth were in the gutter and I wasnt ready to believe I was someone who was worth the hug and endearments.
now I have a therapist who does shower me with the positives of hugs and endearments at times and Im comfortable with them. I have a name given to me by my therapist which means beautiful one in my Indian culture. she is always reaching out to hold me or my hand, rubs my back... she gives great back massages too...basically shes what most people call a holistic therapist... she works with a person as a whole individual on all kinds of issues, mental and physical well being.