I've drafted several responses to this post. It brought up some issues from long ago, I will try very hard to seperate my issues from you're own .

I've always been a night owl, hubby a day bird. The first time we actually worked the same hours, 10 years into our marriage, going to bed at the same time became an issue. We both worked nights, he'd go to bed right when we got home and I would be up doing chores, whatever. The problem was he wanted me to go to bed right when we got home too. At the time, I thought it was a control issue and I sorely resented it. I can see now how silly that assumption was.

For whatever reason he needed that connection, that closeness. I used to wait for him to fall asleep and get up and do whatever it was that seemed so important to me at the time that needed to get done. He'd roll over and wake up if I was not in bed and come and find me. Do you know now, 18 years later, I cannot for the life of me remember what was so damn important that I had to get out of bed. What I do remember is the days I stayed in bed, reading, playing sims (literally the reason I got my first laptop was so that I had something to do while he was in bed sleeping), or whatever I did to occupy that time, I DO remember when he'd roll over and say love you and fall back asleep, or when we'd argue in his sleep. He works just as hard in his sleep as he does awake. Sometimes he'd think I was one of the guys working for him and he be very frustrated that I was not doing what he wanted me to do.

So here's what I'm trying to say. When you're laying on your death bed are those chores going to comfort you, or the memories of just spending time with your wife, the person you chose to spend your life with going to comfort you? I have OCD, I understand that some of the things I have to do before I rest control me, I do not control them. Medication has helped, but now every thing in my life is broken down into a simple question: "Will this be important to me in a year?" Live each day as if it were your last. If this was your last day on earth, which would make a difference? Getting your chores done or spending time with your wife?