During high school, i moved to 3 different states and went to 6 different schools, with the last time during my senior year of high school. Needless to say, i didn't get to graduate with my "friends"- which i had/have none of anyway- and my parents didn't even show up to my graduation, probably because they were to busy getting a divorce at the time to even notice me. I became extremely depressed because i felt like i had missed out on my teenage years that i would have done anything to have those years back. Well one day i saw an ad for an art school that accepted everyone and for some reason i felt like maybe it was my chance to get all those years and experiences i missed out on back. I went to meet with the "admissions" person- who i now know is nothing more then a recruiter who gets paid by the amount of students they admit- and she played the part well and actually made me believe i was talented & was intelligent. She made me believe i could make money from my artwork and said paying back my student loan would be easy. I had been so depressed and my self esteem was so low that i was foolish enough to believe it.

I went for less then a year because the campus was unsafe, i ended up being drugged even though i wasn't partying at all. And yes some bad things happened to me while i was drugged which give me nightmares and panic attacks to this day, but i don't really feel like talking about that. Somehow i racked up $30,000 in student loan debt in that short amount of time, but because of that night i became so broken that i didn't say anything to anyone - i just left school and left a good majority of my things in my dorm. I went to go live with the only friend i had.

To keep my story as short as possible, i basically couldn't find a job and was in and out of homelessness. When i did find a job it was min wage & i would send the student loan people pretty much my entire check. Well i lost my job because my father became ill and they were not willing to hold my job for me if i went to visit him across the country because i was easily replaceable. This was 4 years ago and i don't regret it because it was the last time I'd ever see my father- he died 6 months ago this week.

I basically haven't paid them anything for almost 3 years now and i don't even know how to get ahold of them anyway. I have been jobless and homeless on and off and at the beginning i tried to "defere" the payments on my loan but they wanted me to pay for that too, even though i told them i had no money to begin with!

My credit is so messed up that i have been denied housing AND jobs. Everyday my depression workers because i can't live like every other descent person lives. I've met multiple felons who live better lives then this. I am currently living in a rented shack in the ghetto because that's the best i could get. I live with mice, bugs, mold and leaky pipes with no hot water. Anything better then this costs around $1000+ per month, which i can't even imagine being able to afford even if i did have the credit. Even roommates do credit checks. I have spent so many days starving that i can't even count them all anymore.

I don't know what to do anymore & there's nothing i can really do unless i hit the lottery. Higher education was without a doubt the WORST decision of my life, and i feel like they took advantage of me and my situation. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I'm 24 and i feel like I'm going to lose my mind...