I am very sympathetic to your situation because I feel the same way. Until I realized my condition, I admittedly had those thoughts about those afflicted with mental illness. I regret it now. It is simply impossible to understand until you experience it. We know you are not dramaticizing or anything of that nature. It is paralyzing and so hard to deal with, while at the same time needing to uphold our daily responsibilities. I can't offer much but my sympathy and support.