I'm so sorry Moose. Sounds like an intense pdoc visit. What do you think about hospital again? Would it be safe and supportive and nurturing break for you? Or can you keep yourself safe, and ride out this depression? I'm glad you have a trusted friend to hold the meds and support you that way, sounds like a pretty good friend. I too miss the feeling of pregnancy, carrying new life in my belly. Both of my kids' therapists just had babies, so it's going around. Love you Moose!