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Originally Posted by Big Mama
AAAAA you are so right. I used to think it was a control thing that my H wanted me in bed the same time he was in bed. I'm still not so sure about that. He does have alot of control issues and this was just another to add to that list. But I do think it was and is more about the connection.
My H is self employeed and is in construction. I totally get what you mean by arguing in his sleep. My H has asked me some of the silliest things about work and argued w/ me about his work like I was an employee.
For me I suppose it is not wanting that connection, not wanting another argument, no wanting ugly words as he goes to sleep and I'm left to drive my self crazy w/ the rude things he has to say. But that is just me and I'm not sure that is the cause for everyone not sleeping in the same bed.
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Aw. Now that I look back at it those arguements were funny. The equipment that he works on is larger than our house and I would have to use logic to get him out of it in his sleep. You're laying in bed, exactly where would a DISA be located in here? At first I tried just agreeing with him to passify him so he'd go back to sleep. But the dreamstate me apparently did not do what he wanted so that was worse
. But he has his crosses to bear as well. I will wake up mad as hell at him because in my dreams he slept with my sister. I don't even have a sister!
But you did bring up a good point. Everyone that I've ever known that has split from their spouse/SO, the beginning of the end was sleeping on the couch or another room. So withholding that connection even when your partner is sleeping means something.