Lately ive been labouring under the weight of the knowledge that I have noone (in the literal sense) in my corner whatsoever. The other week I was deathly sick and had to see it all through to its conclusion alone. I had noone who I could ask to pop down to the pharmacy for me.

My family are possibly the most destructive force in my life. My mother and brother made the family home a sort of torture chamber. By the time I left home i'd been hospitalised become a painkiller addict tried to commit suicide countless times and bore the tell tale self harm scars all over my arms.

Somehow that experience has become my reality. My university housemates hate me. For example there have been times where ive broken down in tears in front of them and theyve done nothing/said nothing. Still they treat me like the enemy by mutual consent.

All my friends have long since deserted me and have snide remarks to make at every turn. No matter how much I try and change the cycle of rejection and hatred continues apace.

Could all this be a result of apsergers? Ive never been diagnosed but ive long suspected since I have many of the signs. I suppose it would be the sweetest relief if I did have aspergers since I would finally have a reason for all this. At the moment theres no reason and thus noend in sight I can see