my therapist and I have been talking about having your own identity which I have no idea what that means. whatever I wanted to do something, my parents would destroy it. I told my therapist a couple months ago that my identity has always been money and she asked why.

I told her my parents have always stolen from us with no apologies so my sister and I would steal from them - what's fair is fair. I told her it just became apparent that money would be an identity for me I would do anything that resolves around money and I don't do free work for anyone not in this kind of economy we are in. she looked at me all puzzled as many others have done it too. i dont know what's so puzzling about what i say it seems as though we have lost common sense in america.

I told her people have identities and I don't. I don't know anything about myself because things were never taught to me and my parents never allowed me to grow, learn, or develop anything about myself that has always been a struggle for 16 yrs (am now 27).

so, i am going to start learning things on my own which wont be easy for me. i had this discussion with my bf about last week's session and i told him i guess i do ask a lot of questions about these issues that i am discussing with the therapist. i told my bf i have so many questions about life that i never knew anything about because it was always in shades of grey.

so, i told her(therapist) I don't do anything unless there is something in it for me and I do stuff with my mom so I can get money out of it. yes, my dad has always been an ATM to us my sister told me to hit them up for money for all it is worth she is 43 lives in jp on the navy base with her naval hubby. she did this when she was a kid way before I was born and steal the money from my mom as they never wanted to be parents. my sister did this yet nobody isn't complaining about it, but everybody is ganging up on me about me stealing from my mom. talk about an oxymoron and contradicting!

I am not working, college educated but can not find any job! don't talk to me about going back to school i don't feel like re-explaining myself again and again about that issue not what i am asking about. therapist and i have talked about my low self esteem well when u have been called every name in the book by your parents how r u suppose to see yourself?

mom used to tell me people can sense low self esteem well no duh your the cause behind it! people tell me i cant use money as an identity even my therapist says it is not healthy i said entrepreneurs see what? dollar signs why do you think they work so hard to be the person they are today? i use money as a motivation hence is why i am still fighting to land a job anywhere with some exceptions to it.

so, i am still confused by this finding my identity. she told me that is something I have to find within myself as she can not find that for me same with my boyfriend he said the same thing. i told them how i went on in my life without an identity and i said well money just seems to motivate me for some reason. does anyone have any suggestions? no, i have no interest in volunteering right now my main focus is an income a j.o.b.!! my social worker said maybe i should do a little volunteering to add new skills but that is also not helping me in getting a real job and moving out.yea, u can say my ox is in a ditch.

right now, my therapist had me to fill out a paper on the rearview mirror syndrome and answer some questions on it. she told me i have to take responsibility for myself and i told her ok, first thing to do is get a job that's when the responsibility will take place and then everything else will follow through. let's start with landing a job first.

she knows i am still looking for a job and dont have much job experience. i feel as though she is expecting me to do xyz in such a short amount of time when the therapist said things dont happen that way.