It's nice to meet you, fellow saboteur. Not sure if I'm about to do that thing you didn't want people to do...I want to tell you that everything will be Ok, and that's a distinct possibility, but the only real support I can offer is to let you know you aren't alone.

Try to pull back and catch your breath whenever you feel yourself gearing up for another sabotage incident. If you pay close attention to your emotional state you'll soon learn to recognize the warning signs. Maybe you'll start feeling helpless, out of control, argumentative, disgusted, etc. There is always a predictable flurry of emotions preceding a major relationship blow-up (at least there always has been for me). If you need to distance yourself a little to regain control, apologize to your friends, explain, as best as you can, that you aren't currently in a good place, emotionally, and that you need a little time to regain control. A caveat: it's important that you seek support during this time and make a genuine effort to regain perspective. Don't use it as an excuse to cut people out of your life.

I'm guessing that you may have suffered through some type of attachment disorder as a child (*not* trying to diagnose you, just offering food for thought). But whatever the cause, I'm sure you can get past this with professional help, and this is a great place to seek support, too.