I don't know what I"m feeling, or any way to describe it. But I'll try to get it out... and maybe someone on here will have an answer.

Over the past week, I've had memories flow back into my mind from when I was 8-10 years of age. Feelings of not knowing, being behind everyone, but excelling in math and music. I would look at someone who became a valedictorian and just be so jealous. I've forgotten about that until recently.

I'm in college now, and just not getting the grades that I really want, I deal with anxiety and depression, and overall confusing.

Right now, I just don't have words for a feeling/emotion. I'm just realizing that there is no solution to this feeling, and I don't like that. There has to be a solution, but there really isn't one. All I know is I want this feeling to just be stuffed in a hole in the middle of the earth, so I don't have to feel this again. It brings a heaviness to my chest, and pain in my head (like a headache) and tears to my eyes, but this isn't sadness... I just don't know what it is. Or a way to deal with it.