you poor girl.... i know how you feel i have got my smear in march , i have to have them every 6mths and it still scares the hell out of me , but try to think of it like this , nurse,s see hundreds and thousands of ladies every day, they know that people are scared one way or the other, maybe you could say some positive things to your self, about how it is so important that we get checked inside as well as outside , sorry , hope all goes well, am sending you lots of hugs and peace x