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Old Feb 12, 2013, 11:05 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: NJ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool View Post
Okay, I promise this is the last time I will comment, MUE. You DO NOT have to do any of those things. Those things are the nurse's job. If you CHOOSE to do them, and WANT to do them, that is fine. If you don't, then DON'T. You are a grown woman. You CAN set limits. You can go take a shower, wear something you like that is appropriate for work, and go look for jobs. You doing all of this, taking all of this out from a job search, spending nights at the hospital, etc, is totally unfair to you, and to YOUR DAUGHTER. You need a job. You have admitted that your family will not be paying for your time. HOW is this right or fair to your child?? If you will not set limits for yourself, can you not set limits to protect the welfare of your child?

I come at this from the perspective of having a mother who took her parents into our home. EVERYTHING revolved around them and if there was any time left over, then we kids got some attention. We went without many things we actually needed because there wasn't enough money because my mom couldn't work because she needed to care for her parents. The rest of us were just supposed to accept that and not even feel angry about not being able to go to movies or do anything because it was for our grandparents. And then she went on and on to everyone about how haaaaarrrrd this was for her. How she HAD to do it. So, please believe me when I tell you that no matter how much your daughter may love your mother, and may tell you that all is well with you spending that much time with your mother, and not finding a job to support her instead, your daughter WILL be hurt and feel at least a bit resentful in the end. End of rant.
Thanks, MKAC....

I'm sorry my stuff seems to trigger you. Please know that I am not going to do to my daughter what your mom did to you.

I had a talk with the nurses today and plan to talk to the doctor as well, to be sure that we are clear on her limitations and abilities....and I made it clear to my mom that she would need to be sure not to go home until she is able to be on her own for spans of several hours as I will not be able to be there 24/7.

I will be setting limits. I will be attentive to my daughter. I will do what I need to in order to take care of me through this process. But I will also be there for my mom. I have been applying to jobs while at the hospital and am focusing on that today as well.

As an aside, I received the appeal decision in the mail yesterday and it seems as though my appeal was granted! Yippee! Now, I need to find out next steps.
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