What do you like to drink?
I remember when I was a like to want to smoke and drink like my father whenever I think of my father, whenever I long for him. I use to still my grandmother smokes and alcohol.

Whats the point?
To be connected to someone I think is important to me. There is a deep longing for something and alcohol numbs that and gives me some pleasurable moments.

What's my choice?
I know the only way I can make my life meaningful is by being responsive. I also know that every time I try to quit alcohol, I ended up in a worst state. Feeling quite helpless now.