...wandering around aimlesslessly without a purpose deliberately lost in amongst the findings of myself!

it's so quietly noisy even louder than the silence without!

...aches and pains nudge my soul hurt me whole...

and the wounds of yesteryears and yesterdays last night...minutes ago die all over again...revived only by my life living right now in this very moment!

...and the real escape is so far out of reach!

can my future ghost recollect what it forgot to remind me now?

to remind me how to cope with all this emotional ********?

right here after I arrived later and suddenly painful I cry like a baby!

and the minutes are months and the years are moments and the death is so far away from the life that was forced outa' me to make any of this real and whatever it just hurts bein left behind!

in the black the dark of feelings like drowning and nobody can breathe down here...

except me