i saw my doc yest n she said she thinks it could be ocd, and refering me for cbt.
We dont talk to doctors here in uk, each appt is 5 mins max lol, all my treatment has been around depression, but im wondering if its ocd or whatever it is thats causing the depression. control in personal life is same as work situ, i had no control over things happening through out childhood and teens, so i can kinda guess thats the control trigger, and yes unfortunately im very self aware, i just cant fix it. I do have odd stuff like if i have to stop or cant do something in particular i get a butterfly feeling that grows until im literally rocking on the spot until i do or stop whatever it is, and i sing in my head untill i get all of song with no mistakes, then i can stop. never thought of any of it it terms of ocd until my office manager pointed it out after a meltdown on friday. had an awful weekend and day yest, it seems to have brought the depressioon right to the surface, im finding myself near tears very easily at the moment and i usually have better control of myself than that.