Remember that feelings aren't facts. They also pass. I've learned that if I can somehow not act on those emotions when they come and just let them go by then I don't end up in a mess or in regret. Us Borderlines feel things too deeply and have worn a mask so long in order just to survive. We're so sensitive. Or I am. I'll speak for myself.
Sometimes just being around family is best. There's nothing wrong with that. I only have three real friends and I'm okay with it. They're the ride or die kind. I'm the same way. Us Borderlines can be hurtful but we need not crawl before anyone.
I have faith you guys will come out the other side one day at a time.