Not remembering what "real life" feels like...like doing things with friends like going out to dinner, shopping, laughing...foreign concepts. Even when I just hear other people talk about them. I have no remembrance whatsoever of what they felt like. I feel nothing but coldness.

Having other people ask "How was your weekend?" "So what did you do this weekend?" Clearly "slept and bawled my eyes out" won't work as answers. Best to eliminate ANY friend who asks this. But really, best to eliminate all friends.

Part of the same thing...being forced to hang around what I call the "white picket fence people"...forced because they are relatives with immaculate marriages and new puppies and jobs and HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. (I left early thanksgiving and skipped Xmas...I had a "migraine".)