Dear T,

I got through today. Did you think of me at all at 1:30? Actually I was very busy so I didn't think about missing you at the time of my session. But I feel disappointed and out-of-sorts. Is it really such a terrible thing if you email me? Would it be so terrible if I emailed you and asked you to reply to me? I'm a little scared. How do I know you are all right?

I wrote that I missed you and you still didn't answer. I know that if I'm more insistent, you WILL answer me but I don't want to beg you for a response. I feel kind of like you don't care as much about me as I thought you did. If you did, you'd know I expected a short reply when I told you about the baby. It feels like you're rejecting me. Are you really doing this FOR me, because of our rule? You and I both know that you break rules, so why THIS time are you being so strict? You didn't even answer me that you got my email to cancel today. If I email you and ask about it, and you give me some casual answer like "you sounded all right and we have the rule", I'd be heart-broken. I guess I'll just wait and try to judge you favorably. I have to call N. to cancel DBT but she hardly ever calls back.

I don't know WHY you're doing this. I feel like you're punishing me. It's probably my fault; I should have asked you last session if you'd email me after I told you about the baby. I'm too tired to water color. Maybe I'll use the kids' markers on a piece of paper to draw. I'm getting angry with you now!!!!

Love?
rainbow