In my T appt today my T said that I need to separate my feelings from the past that come up in current day situations.

I told my T I was afraid of my 7yr old touching his 3yr old brother inappropriately and I was also afraid of my 7yr old being touched inappropriately by older kids or 'strangers'. Nothing has happened and my boys aren't showing any signs of being touched at all inappropriately by anyone and we have open discussions about what is 'private' etc....

However
I am triggered at the fact that my 7 almost 8 year old is becoming more curious and aware of his body. His awareness has me panicked and afraid that his curiosity in his own body will lead to touching others. I had a dream last night that my 7yr old was being touched inappropriately over time by a friend and in the dream I was devastated. For me it felt like his life was ruined.

My T asked me today - in the dream was he visibly upset? I said no. She then asked was he physically dying or crying in pain? I said no. She said that boys do experiment and touching does happen but it's different than abuse.

My problem is this. I understand intellectually curious touching doesn't necessarily mean abuse and it doesn't ruin a life per se but my emotions feel like it would be the end of the world. An experience worse than death itself.

When it comes to my son being aware of his body I don't have a gauge in my brain that says 'this is ok, it is healthy to be aware of your body' because I was molested at the age of 5. My gauge says: sex is dirty, sexuality is dirty, feeling sexual arousal is dirty. I have a hard time feeling comfortable in physical pleasure because it's ingrained in me that physical pleasure is dirty etc.....

How long does it take to change this thought process???? Anyone out there succeed with changing a cognitive distortion?