You still sound like you have a future
Maybe not with Plato... but is seems clear to me you are healing
Hugs
Quote:
Originally Posted by krishtanah1990
Death seems to be hunting for me. Why else would it flash such dark images into my brain? These are the thoughts that flash before my mind’s eye in less than one second nearly every second every day. My nerve endings feel like they are on fire and then dipped in nucleic acid. These are just my waking thoughts. My dreams or night terrors I call them are even worse. For while I can always manage to distract myself in my conscious state, in the once used to be pleasant wonders of a surreal kingdom of slumber there now exists a seemingly endless torture plane of existence. Why is it worse? Because in my deepest worst thoughts while I sleep I can’t waken until the torture is over. I know I am not alone out there and yet that is what I feel. Am I crazy is what you are asking by this point. Some days I am. Others not so much. Honestly I don’t know for how do you know what crazy is if this is all you have felt all your life? Crazy is the opposite of normal and I have never experienced a normal day in my life. Then there are the days that I feel that I am the only sane one out there. Whats the point of petty arguments or working towards something only to have it end? Everything ends. Everything dies. So why don’t I give it all up. Because while what goes on in my life is merely an illusion, I in fact am not an illusion. I exist to both myself and others and while people may not know me my absence would be surely felt. How do you ask? Just because someone never met Plato while he lived doesn’t mean his presence wasn’t felt by millions of people for years to come. That applies to everyone out there. I am not a philosopher like Plato. If you ask me the truth I loathe philosophy. However, I have discovered a few truths in my young troubled life. Just because I don’t make an impact now doesn’t mean that I won’t someday. Everyone is capable of greatness. You just have to search that greatness out. I ask you to join me along for the ride. My thoughts may not always be as coherent or as linear as they are now so I ask you to bear with me. These are only the thoughts I think. I offer no beginners guide to my disorders or offer any advice. Sometimes there will be no structure and some days I can’t even express my thoughts on paper so there may be entries from other mediums or gaps days or even weeks in between. This is what I offer. To present a no hold’s bar inside tap into the psyche of someone with a mental disorder. Think you can handle it? Good. Next time, give me a few pointers and I’ll let you know if they help or not.[/font]
|