What you are explaining sounds so understandable. I think that you will be able to work through this geez.

If you have taught your boys healthy boundaries they will have learned heatlhy boundaries and they would not invade another's boundaries inappropriately.

Children who sexually abuse others have learned not to respect other people and that their needs come first. Frequently they have also been abused.

And for those of us who have suffered, we are very sensitive to others having to suffer like we have, especially our children.