I'm a sophomore in college. Lately, I've been seriously struggling with my self esteem and self worth...I've sought out pain and degradation in a sexual manner, I've cut myself...I'm seeing a therapist for the first time tomorrow and although I plan on telling them everything I've been going through, I'm quite nervous and embarrassed.

Anyway, recently I haven't been able to focus on school at all. I don't know what to do. I know I should be getting better grades, and I know the fact that I'm doing so poorly is my own fault. I just don't know how to get my motivation back. I feel absolutely no urge or pressure to do my work. More than anything, I want to go home and take some time off. But I feel like that's not possible, seeing as I've already placed a deposit for housing next year and my parents are paying a lot of money for me to get through school. How can I get my motivation back? Is it possible to even bounce back this late in the year???