I met with my t today, and she commended me on how open I have been with her and the school pdoc. She did say, however, that she sensed that I was still hiding something from them. She said that they could best treat me if they knew everything that is going on.

Lately, I've been having some symptoms that may seem scary on the surface, but that I don't think are a big deal. I don't want to worry my t and pdoc unnecessarily. Here's what has been happening:

I've been having telepathic conversations with inanimate objects (mostly a stuffed animal my friend made me, the ceiling in my bedroom, and my headboard). Lately, these conversations have turned dark, as these objects are telling me to kill myself. They also tell me that if they were able, they would do the job for me. They even tell me how they'd do it (the stuffed animal would suffocate me; the headboard would "bash my head in"...)

Anyway, I'm not too worried about these threats because these objects can't even move. They can't hurt me no matter how much they may want to. But I don't know if this is something that my treatment team should know about regardless? Most of the time, I don't feel suicidal (like not even a tiny bit), but every now and then I get these random impulses to jump out my window or overdose. It's augmented by what these objects have been telling me.

I don't know if I'm genuinely having these conversations or if I'm imagining them. If I'm imagining them, then these commands to end my life are just intrusive thoughts, distressing but harmless. Like I said earlier, I don't want to get everyone concerned over nothing. Or have my zyprexa upped when I don't need it.