UNWARNING: No actual sex content.

Hi guys!

I organised an extra session. The idea was that it would be a kind of holiday. I would go without an agenda, probably wouldn't do any work, I'd just enjoy being with her. We ended up talking about sex and power.

As a teenager, I was constantly fighting with my mother about my emerging sexuality.

The story I told myself is that I had to fight her in order to secure the space I needed to grow sexually. She was very uncomfortable with that and expressed her disapproval of it in no uncertain terms.

However, looking back, she did actually cut me some slack. There were certain items that she found and threw in my face (metaphorically). But she never destroyed them or threw them away. Some mothers would have done that.

(A voice in my head just told me: She respected your property rights more than she disrespected your sexuality. To which my T voice replies: You see how hard it is for you to give your mother any credit?)

My T has helped me see that the power was more important than the sex. I was already in a permanent power struggle with my mother. My sexuality was a very convenient weapon to use in that fight.

I have a similar power struggle with T, but sex is no longer a part of that. At some psychic level, sex is a very important component of my T relationship. But we are both completely comfortable with it and it's not something we fight about.