I'm sorry. I seem to keep going back to the same thing, over and over and over again. Stuck in a rut, I am definetely. Sorry for being a bother, I'll probably delete this. Just need to put it out there, you know?

BLECH.

I feel like crap. Never ending useless worthless nothingness.

What is wrong with me?

I mean I KNOW what is wrong with me, but what is wrong with me?

I can barely function. Not eating. I want to sleep. I want to drink all of my problems away but I can't because my friends won't let me drink by myself. I can't even TALK to them. I want to cry. I can't. I want to scream - and I've never been able to. Such a good emotional bottler I am.

My family makes my life *bleep* and then deserts me when I need them.

They didn't even want me home for Thanksgiving. I live across the city for petes sake!

I'm not negative. I'm depressed. And they make me miserable. I'm a glutton for punishment, they're my family ... I need them, even if they make me feel worthless.

Why am I even in university? I don't deserve to be here. I'll never make anything of myself, I don't think I'll survive until the end of my psychology degree.

Why do I even bother to try to help anyone? Nobody needs my help. Everyone is better without me. Even when they ask for it. I used to be such a not self-centred person. People tell me I'm not. I am. I can't help. I'm sorry. I'm a waste of space and I'm wasting your time if you're reading this. I'm sorry. I just don't have anyone to talk to. Not even my T, I'm not "sick" enough for a weekly appointment. 2 more weeks. I can't wait that long anymore.