> I feel so "closed in" on myself. Like my real personality (the one I feel I am inside) is closed/trapped inside me, and I'm not able to express it through my outer body (or something like that).

That sounds familiar. At first I had this overall feeling of vagueness, like something I couldnt describe then, but a disconnection from myself.

> I can have just as a strong emotional response to situations as anybody else, but I fail to express it. That leads to me to "faking" a smile, laugh or whatever.

My therapist called this 'lack of affect'. Not that I wasnt affected but I failed to express how I was affected. It caused a pause between what was said/done, and my response to it. The anxiety disrupted my sense of timing in conversations. Very uncomfortable and in my panic I would respond the way I thought the others would want me to. I felt like I was never being the real me. Before this all happened I was a master of conversational timing.

> I rarely cry, but I cry inside when such happens.

Me too. Oceans.