I hear you on the Vocational Rehabilitation. Yet, I’ve read a few things online here and there about Vocational Rehabilitation online. However, with what little I have read, I would be extremely worried that they would simply rush things in attempts to get me working again, without taking my condition into account.
I once told a public assistance rep that I had issues, and she went off telling me that she has family members, and knows others that have a lot the same issues I mentioned and were able to work. So if they can do it, why wouldn't I be able to?
I didn't say another word after she said all that, felt like there was no point. I went through all smiles and nodding of my head. Collected myself after the interview, left and never went back.
I get it that everyone is different with they're conditions and such. Where one person is able to work a steady job/ career and able to do it successfully, yet I cannot say that is me. I have been fired many times from the current job I have in the past.
Luckily my boss has always hired me back a few months down the line after things calmed down. Only reason I’ve been here as long as I have is due to the fact I’m able to hide away from people and not have to interact with them. Actually think to myself when people approach my booth, why are you walking this way? You better not be coming this way to talk to me. Darn it all, you are walking this way to talk to me. Go away damn it. Of course I don't say anything this to them, i just smile and go thru all the pleasantries
While V.R. Is a valid option indeed, I simply don’t believe I would be able to work just any type of job though. Stress, long hours, problems w/ coworkers just doesn’t work well w/ me. I really need to find some kind of career (valid career option, that is) that will work/ fit me. I have spent the last 6yrs doing endless Career Quiz's that fit you, and countless web searches on different career options of bipolar/ introverted people, yet in the end, it all really wouldn't work for someone with my type of illness.
Yet again, what works for most others, don’t, and wont work for me. I already know this. Been tried and proven in the past. To be quite honest, I feel completely and absolutely worthless. Often feel like becoming a stereo typical statistic, and just putting a gun in my mouth and ending it all.
I have been homeless 4 times due to this illness, and if life is that so darn harder being this ill, then what the F is the point? I am either going to be a burden on others in my life, or be around people who don’t understand me, or want to avoid me and ignore/ treat me like dirt. No one wants to live like this! Not even the mentally ill!!
|