I prefer the undare approach. One may suffer or one may choose to take action which has the potential for alleviating some of that suffering. Neither course is optimal as suffering of some sort will occur in either case for at least in part. If asked, I would advise calling because I consider speculation to be a worse form of suffering when compared with asking. Is speculation worse than a specific request where one must wait for the response is up to the individual.....
(WIth my approach, sometimes people just give up and do it because it is preferable to being bored to death by my ramblings and use of the term "one")