how does an old man like me keep going?

I was a hypermanic kid...an overmanic teenager....a supermanic young man!

now I don't know what I am...?

but the illness is still so alive taking me to places I already been!

and the illness is still alive faking me into spaces I already seen!

...and as I grip my fingers tight ..!

I'm tired...

I'm so damn tired!

it's way beyond mental illness now!

it's drifted beyond safely gently hopefully...somewhere I can finally relax..

after all the drugs after all the drugs after all the madness

I don't want this thing anymore!

it kicks me when I am down it slaps me when I am up it's the same thing I'm better off without it...

flying phantom man killed by death soon after over and over.

and yet I persist

I won't let anyone comfort me...

cos they can't