Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaunaTheShy
I often wonder if he ever even realized he's been abusing me. I mean, after I started crying saying last night "I didn't do anything!" he started yelling at me to stop acting like I was the victim:
Him: "Stop it!! Stop saying that!! STOP SAYING THAT!! You always do this!! You always try to make yourself look like the victim!!!"
Me: "I was just washing dishes and you hit me!!!"
Him: I didn't hit you!!
Me: "Yes you did!!"
That's when he looked at my arm and realized he did hit me
Him: "Oh my God!! Did I do that?! I did!! Oh my God! I did! I did!! I'm so sorry!! I did!! Oh my God!! I just meant to grab you!! I never meant to hurt you!! I should've never done that to you!"
It's after this I wasn't sure if he was trying to cover it up or if it really was an accident. Still...I often wonder if he realizes he's been verbally and mentally abusing me. I mean, I looked at that Power & Control wheel in the Power & control in dating relationships thread and he does a huge majority of everything on that chart but does he realize he's doing it?!
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The first signs of a dangerous abusive relationship cycle is when the victim starts making justifications and/or excuses for the abuser's behavior. "but he didn't mean to", or in your case "he wasn't even aware he did this" Ummm no unless he's a dissociative personality afflicted person and blacks out suddenly - he
was aware of hitting you! Don't let him lie and convince you it was any other way. You did something that he let himself get angry about, then he reacted in kind, he hit you. Period. He made a choice and I don't believe for a second his hand "accidentally" caused your arm to turn red. O.o Please step back and see the logic in this before you're caught up in the cycle. It will keep happening if you let it. Get out now.