I'm not so sure the working world is for me. I'm a trained Library Tech, and I've been doing volunteer work in libraries since I graduated two years ago. Still, after two years, a library has yet to say, "I'll pay you".

I have had paid work; one was a summer library job. Most of my experience comes from either field placements or volunteer work.

I love libraries with an enormous passion. They are a huge part of my life. That is why I volunteer my services for free, because I love it so much.

All the job postings seem so managerial. I'm not a people person. I'd rather be working with the books than telling others what to do. Another thing is, I'm on ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program), so its kind of tricky to have a job AND be on ODSP, as they will cut your pay if you earn too much.

I like having flexibility. You dont have that in a 9-5 job. Plus, I'm afraid that if I do get job, I wont have the energy to do the stuff that I want to do. At least with volunteer work, YOU get to decide when you want to work. I hate the insecurity; knowing that I might have to do this job search thing AGAIN in 6, 9 12 months. You can volunteer forever.

I can commit. I just see so many people get so bogged down with work these days, they dont have time for anything else. That scares me. I don't want to work, really. I love my volunteer work, it would be wicked if I could get paid for it...

I dont know. Maybe I should try specializing in research or stack maintenance or something. I'm just confused I guess.

Another thing is, I just met this woman who I'd like to have a commitment with. She lives a good 8 hours away. She's on ODSP as well, since she's blind. See, if both of us had jobs right now, it would be really hard for us to see each other. If I had a job, I couldnt as easily hop on a bus and go to see her.

I don't know, the job thing. Everything is about work. I know, if you love what you're doing...but most postings I see are not what I want. I mean a lot of it is, obviously, but some things I just dont want to do. I'd rather choose.

I'm not afraid of commitment. I dont know what it is, if I knew I wouldn't be posting here.