(((((((((((((( Rio )))))))))))))))

I'm really sorry to hear you were at the school in the Dunblane year. Just because it didn't affect your yeargroup, and just because you were only six years old, doesn't mean it won't affect you later, as you're finding out. I think a lot of things which happened when young, and which didn't have much significance at the time, can grow to be something far more meaningful in the future, as you've seen for yourself...

I think that the events then would have an influence on everyone at the school then, in various forms... I don't see how such a thing wouldn't have an effect. It didn't involve your yeargroup but now you know what did happen, I don't wonder that you do think about it a lot. It's a major thing to happen. Perhaps you're just more perceptive and sensitive than other people in your class and so things have a greater influence on you, especially if you're retrospective. Maybe it *did* affect your classmates and the other yeargroups at the school, but perhaps they view it as being in the past and accept it happened and look to the future... but I think there are bound to be others who also have your problem too, but who, like you, don't speak of it...

You could speak to your parents of how you feel about Dunblane, but to be honest I think it would be better to speak to a counsellor/ therapist about it. For one I think your parents would have been very scared to hear about what happened to your school and I imagine they'd have been very relieved to hear it didn't happen to your class, and I suppose that trying to talk to them about it would lead to them trying to avoid thinking about it because obviously, it would have shocked them. Also... I think that even if they do want to talk to you about how you feel about Dunblane... there is a possibility that they might just belittle how you feel... not out of malice but more out of misunderstanding... thinking you should have 'got over it' by now... and which would more or less confirm how you feel. But I think seeing a therapist is a good idea, because you would be talking to her/ him and you'd have no emotional connections or emotional expectations of the therapist so you'd be better able to express how you think... I'd imagine so anyway, maybe though not at first.

Anyway sorry to write such a long answer... and btw... Happy Birthday!