((Lynne)) I am so sorry you are going through this. No one deserves this kind of treatment.

I would suggest you get your own phone with a different number and do not give it to him. Change your passwords. As far as your exH, I would at least let him know what has been going on since this is affecting the kids. Let him know of the threat this guy made.

It sounds to me like this guy is very controlling. As long as he thought he was in control, he was as nice as can be. But once you disagreed with him, or whatever it may have been that questioned his control, he flipped out. Does he stalk you? If he does, start documenting everything. Save texts, document phone calls, etc. I know it can be a pain, but the documentation may help if you need to get law enforcement involved. Your safety and the safety of your kids is of utmost importance.

I don't think it's weird that you have a hard time standing up for yourself, but you will for your kids. I am the same way. Will take a lot of crap from my H (and others) directed towards myself, but have no problem being the protective "mama lion" for her cubs.

Take care and keep yourself and your kids safe.