Yes, you are right, we have to make compromises. It's frustrating when you're views on things are so far apart. I loved my MIL to death, but her house was TRASHED. When we would go to visit I would be cleaning from the minute I walked through the door until the minute I left. My babies were crawling around on that floor! I did not want to be offensive, this was their home, but my baby shouldn't be dirtier crawling around on the floor than if he was outside playing in the sand box. So I usually only cleaned the bedrooms we were using, the upstairs bathroom, kitchen, dining room and living room. I once laid in bed there wondering where I would start if I were to clean the whole house and came to the conclusion that I would burn the place down and start from scratch. Ever see an episode of How Clean is your house? My MIL was also a borderline horder. But then again, my FIL and BIL are construction electritions. The place that they were working on one spring was red clay mud. They would come home for lunch and not even stomp their feet before coming in let alone take their shoes off. I had literally just finished scrubing and waxing the kitchen floor when they came in with their boots COVERED in mud. So much mud that clumps were falling from the back door to the kitchen table, then pooling at their feet while they were sitting down to eat. I wouldn't want to clean up after that blatant disregard for courtesy either! My husband grew up with this so this was normal to him. I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I have relaxed quite a bit, but even something like the towels folded the wrong way or put in the wrong place put me over the edge. He had to learn (and it took YEARS) that if he wanted this from me, I needed that. It's not perfect, he still does things that set me over the edge. If he cooks dinner (and he does most nights, it's his turn) the garbage from the packaging from whatever he is making goes right in the sink. WHY??? The garbage can is RIGHT there. If that 12 inches is too far away from you, it's mobile for crying out loud! Why must you throw it in the sink for me to follow behind you and throw it in the garbage?