(((pachyderm))),

You are my friend and I have gotten to know you a little better recently. I can relate to you much better now because of that. In light of that, I certainly do not want to "hit you over the head", I know that feeling and it isn't pleasant. And honestly in light of the fact that this site is meant to help us and find support, I want to help you with being "supportive" if I can.

What "I" have had to learn myself is that because of how I struggle and my own history of "abuse", I tend to "project" that if I voice my opinion, that I will face some kind of disagreement that can "hurt me" and trigger me. I especially have to work on this problem with my attorney because he is a very disrespectful and condescending man.

I have learned that if I make a statement on the "defensive" though, I will always get a bad reaction. This thread is a good example of that. However, it isn't just you or me, it is the way our entire political environment is right now. And I was triggered alot by this election and I even asked my T if it was me or is it as bad as I see it. His reply was, no, it isn't you, this has been a very troubling disruptive, negetive election, one of the worst he could remember.

I was surprised you got the reaction you did though because in my opinion, from what I have noticed in the political talks on this site, many of the threads were "pro Obama" and there was a constant flow of negetivity towards the "republican party". I have to admit it did bother me because I do know there are members that "are" conservatives or repulicans and I noticed they felt somewhat "uncomfortable" however they chose to "refrain" from interacting. I do however see that alot of republicans were not necessarily very fond of Romney and have even been somewhat taken back by some of the possible "distructive" comments made by some of the Repulican politicians. And none of the republicans that I know are rich, selfish Ceo's or what has been portrayed as selfish "rich people". And none of them are backwoods, gun toting toothless degenerates either. And, I don't know of any that agree with these new efforts being made to force rape victims to stay pregnant or face criminal charges of somekind.

So the defensive stance you took, that's caused by the "politicians", all of them!!!! And, it has been also fueled by the "media" as well, all of them are doing it!!!! The American public are victims of this and personally, I don't like it, it is very "disfunctional".

Honestly, I saw it more and more and I was really triggered by it and in a mental health site, it is not good for people that can be struggling already from "disfunction".

I know what you want (((pachyderm))) you want it to stop, me too. And I could see that was why you started on the defensive. But, it isn't going to work, because all it really does is "fuel it even more". That is what I have been working on myself too pachyderm.

That speech was also designed to help with that as well. Infact, the majority of the speeches that are given after an election is won are designed to find a way to bring some kind of calm after the heated combativeness of an election. And that is what you felt was "intelligent" and something you wanted to "hang onto" and even "defend".

I saw a small segmant where John McCain was talking and he gave some interesting "insite" to the inner workings of the political arena that we often don't see. He talked about the men themselves and how they are nice guys "away from the politics" and when they interact they "debate in a heated way" and have a certain amount of not making the discussion/debate a "personal attack". They will go back and forth looking like they really dislike each other, then, walk out of site and shake hands and say, "that was a good one" in a sense of "pleasure and respect". John McCain is more of a progressive Repulican, he is not particularly fond of the "tea party republicans". Also, while he appeared to be "hard on Hilary" he also has alot of "respect for her" too and she knows it. There is a lot of "showmanship" that takes place in the political arena, and relationships behind the scenes that we don't truely see as the general public that can be "quite different" than we think.

Personally I get the feeling that Obama is disconnected from "all of them". That is my own "gut" feeling right now though. I think it will be interesting to learn after Obama leaves office down the road to see what is said of him. Ofcourse, as always, the general public doesnt' really get to know "all of it" , it has always been that way too. By the way, that was the case with Regan as well, he actually had very few, if any "real friends" other than his wife. He was respected by many "politically" but it didn't get further than that.

But getting back to what I was trying to point out in my post here, in general, I have learned that whenever a question begins with "a defensive tone", generally that sets the tone in the wrong way. I have to learn how to overcome this myself pachyderm. I have to make sure I get pretty good at it too because it really does me no good when I do it with my attorney. It's hard too because I can often easily anticipate him being "negetive" and "dismissive" and with the PTSD, I tend to "react" and get "angry". So, I still might slip and unknowingly get "defensive" hopefully I will get support with that so I can think about it and improve on it, as I know I still have to work on it too.

It is my hope that this country can get away from the disfuntion and back into just "discussion" again. I think that is going to take time though, in general no matter what party someone supports, there is a certain amount of doubt and lack of overall trust, some are rowing, some aren't but we are all in the same boat after all.

Open Eyes