Hi there, I don't post very often, but the threads on dreams has me thinking that maybe some of you could help me with some of my dreams.

First, I've had three different Ts tell me that they believe there's a strong possibility that I was a victim of CSA but I have no memories of this.

I've been seeing the same T for over 4 yrs now, and in the past year or so I've had a few very upsetting dreams of an infant being abused. These dreams happen when I'm feeling very good and strong, and they're "out of the blue".

1st dream I had, I was a toddler trying to crawl away from someone as they were grabbing at my legs, and when they caught me they pushed me down and held me there by pressing on my back. In the dream I could have turned around to see who it was, but I wouldn't do it because I didn't want to know.

2nd dream I could see an infant lying on her stomach on a change table. I was standing behind a man who was holding her down as he started to abuse her. I couldn't tell who the man was, but I was screaming "stop it! It's me! Can't you see that it's me?"

3rd dream I walked into a room and again, there was an infant lying on her stomach on a change table. This time the man had a camera set up. I asked what he was doing and he said he was doing a documentary on CSA. I told him to stop, that he didn't need to abuse a child on film to do this documentary. He said that it would be a more powerful way to get the message across. This time the man didn't have to hold her down...she just lay there with tears streaming down her face. Again, the man never turned around so I didn't see his face.

So, when I think about these dreams, part of me feels like the infant is me, and another part of me feels like I witnessed something happening to a child and didn't protect her.

The dreams aren't wild and crazy imagery - they seem so realistic. My T says that our subconcious can let things come to light as we get stronger.

I would love to hear what others think of these dreams?